Tag Archives: dancing

25 Songs 25 Days #24 A Song You Have Danced To With Your Best Friend

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ultravox

Ultravox – Vienna

Aaah the Eighties!! Aaah the make-up!! Aaah Vienna!! Like what I did there!! This was possibly the best track never to make number one!! But boy was it difficult to dance to!! Picture if you will a dance floor filled with painted mannequins, all starey distant eyed and sucked in cheeks. Swaying ever so slightly. Until the middle bars, when the track suddenly sped up, and no-one quite got the moves right, and everyone did a sort of embarrassed jiggle!! Hilarious!!! My Best Friend and I included!!

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25 Songs 25 Days #18 A Song You Love But Very Rarely Listen To

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flanders and swanThe Warthog Song – Flanders and Swann

My primary school was a vestige of  Britishness, all blazers and straw boaters and speech days!! The headmaster would treat the sixth form to an hour of musical appreciation once a week, which involved him sitting, eyes closed, at the front of the class, a record playing on the small portable player. I seized the opportunity of the closed eyes to act out the story being told by the music, until one day my classmates were unable to stifle their laughter, and I was caught mid-dance, and henceforth made to sit at the front of the class!! That particular piece of music was Dance Macabre by Saint-Saens, but my most favourite of all was Flanders and Swann, giving me the chance to assume some incredibly mad characters! This particular song was the best of all, with its wickedly sharp lyrics!! So very English!!!

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Dance Like There’s No-one Watching!!

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James at sports day

I had to hunt through my files (OK bags!) of paperwork recently on a fruitless task of finding my Littley’s innoculation cards. I became completely distracted by all the old photos of and pictures drawn by my kids, and spent a few happy hours giggling with the boys at their early artistic efforts, which were always proudly displayed on the living room wall. My oldest son said we looked like a poor man’s Meet The Fockers!!!

This photo in particular still makes me giggle!! It is at the sports day of my now a Nearly Non-Teen when he was three years old. Just like his mother, when the urge to dance comes on, there is no resisting it!! So as the rest of the children filed neatly off the playing field, he danced like there was nobody watching!! To the delight of the crowd that actually was!!

Aside

So why Bob and Emily? I chose this name, because it was the reason behind my venture into blogging. A bond reformed, dictated by distance, 1500 miles to be precise, became an epistolary relationship. Oh, I love that phrase. I want to use it again and again! To date, we have exchanged over 2000 emails, in the space of six months. Emily was the result of an autocorrect of email whilst he was typing on the tube, which delighted me, and is now part of our language. Along with numerous other words and phrases which have come about by accident, yet fit perfectly. We have managed to meet up, to spend time together, and that is another blog completely. In fact, a book, I suspect.

Those meetings, however, led to Bob. Aka B.O.B. as in battery operated boyfriend. Aka Robert Rabbit. I sent a series of emilys in the form of letters from Bob, expressing his dismay in being usurped in my affections, and the dramatic changes he was facing as a result. Accompanied by photos, to illustrate his new direction. I may share those one day, perhaps not yet! There were moments when I questioned what the hell I was doing, spending an hour preparing a vibrator for a photo shoot!! But it seems they were funny enough for Him to encourage me to write properly, to share my thoughts and ideas with a wider audience.  So here I am. Bob and Emily.

Should I change the tag line? I don’t think so! Live, love, laugh. I know, it is a hackneyed phrase, that appears on numerous Facebook posts. But it summed up how I approach life, and thus became the first thing I had tattooed on my body. At least, I hope I did, since I chose to have it done in chinese lettering, and for all I know, my lower back now reads like a take-away special. I also had my birth sign (Cancer) included, and even I have to admit that it looks more, somewhat disconcertingly, like 69. But I do believe, very strongly, that those are the ethics we should adopt, that love and laughter are what define us as humans, and that we should live life to the full, every single day.

A survivor’s guide. I am the consummate survivor. No matter what has been thrown at me, I have held my breath, and floated back to the surface. I could have curled into a corner, and sobbed “Poor me!” But I learned, very early on, to really enjoy even the most basic of pleasures. Don’t be mistaken, I am not an all forgiving, tree hugging marvel! I am horribly sarcastic, I don’t suffer fools gladly, and as I get older, I become more of a snob. I can’t abide insincerity, and I have no time for mind games. But no matter how bloody awful my life has been, there is always some poor sod who has been dealt a far worse hand. So I relish sun on my skin, laughter with friends, a huge hug from my kids, smelly dog trying to lick my face, and dancing on my own to really loud music! And my emilys. Love my emilys.

And now, suddenly, I have an amazing new world to explore, a huge wealth of talent that I can sink into, a delicious cocktail of images, ideas, and stories. So thank you, for including me in this fabulous adventure, I hope you enjoy my musings as much as I relish yours.

Should I Change My Name?

How to Survive Your Teenagers!

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I think teenagers are amazing!! Perhaps not the most normal of mums, I never really understood the attraction of very small babies. Apart from the glorious smell of Johnson’s Baby Lotion, and an excuse to consume ridiculous amounts of Farley’s Rusks.I loved all of my children instantly, but I can honestly say that I didn’t truly enjoy them until they developed their own unique personalities, and started questioning the world. There was also the mistaken belief that because I had a large family, that I liked other people’s children too! NO!! There are exceptions, some lost souls that I felt compelled to protect, and the rarest of all, the two babies of my much younger friend Jess, who are the most edible of boys! But generally? NO!!

People warned me how awful teenagers can be. Told me their horror stories. Including my mother, who waited with an almost malicious glee for me to experience the horror she had endured. Mainly from me, I suspect. Because I really did push those boundaries as hard as I could. But maybe the trick is to retain that little bit of teenager inside yourself. Just to remember how you felt, and what you really needed at that point in your life.

So! My 10 rules to surviving, and enjoying, your teenagers.

1. Your Teenagers Are Not Your Friends.

Why would they be? Do you ever remember having friends your age, when you were in your teens? Let’s face it, anything older than 23 is considered as ancient, in their world.Your job is to be banker, driver, chef, good listener, cleaner, housekeeper, and ultimately parent.

2. You Are Not Cool.

No matter how cool you, or your friends, or their friends think you are, in your teenager’s eyes, you are a fool! That will never change!!

3. You Can’t Dance.

Even if you were a prima ballerina who danced with Nureyev, you have no sense of rhythm, and should never be seen dancing, not even in your own house, to your own music! And never do the hands raised above the head mum dancing, because they will DIE!!!

4. You Have No Taste in Music.

They invented music! Including The Stones, Bowie, and Joy Division! You are simply trying to jump on their bandwagon. Do not ever download anything they already have, or try to discuss new bands. See number 2. You are a fool.

5. You Have No Taste in Fashion.

Do not ever attempt to buy them clothes. Your only role in clothes shopping is to pay for them. If you are invited on a shopping spree, accept that it is so they can discount everything you suggest, and laugh at what you like. And bite your tongue when they turn up two weeks later in the outfit you chose to start with. Never try to wear the same outfits as them.

6. You Know Nothing.

Indeed, they are amazed that you have survived this long without having any knowledge about anything. Except perhaps how to use a washing machine, oven, bin, and arrange a student overdraft.

7. Do Not Social Network.

Even though you have had a Facebook Account since before they could write, do not try to write a status, share a photo or video, or comment on their status. They can, however, be as rude as they like about yours. And occasionally frape you, when they have commandeered your laptop, because theirs is in the workshop, due to a virus, or a healthy dowsing of Diet Coke!! Seriously, do not pepper your comments with text speak!! Nothing makes me cringe more than people of a certain age who insist on using lol!

8. You Do Not Have A Love Life.

Nor have you ever!! They were the result of immaculate conception! You know nothing about love, or sex, eeiiiuuuuuw!! Why would you, because you are soooo old!! You will never understand how they feel, but will still have to sit for hours while they explain it in minute detail. But you cannot give any advice, because you know nothing!!! And should you actually start a new relationship, that will always be revolting!!! Anything more than waving to each other from opposite sides of the room will always be unacceptable!

9. They Have Different Sleep Patterns.

Accept this! You were the same once. It is a battle on school nights, but just go with the flow on weekends and holidays. You get to go to bed when you want to now, and enjoy lie-ins on a saturday!!! And a Sunday!!! Also accept that they will eat everything in the cupboard whilst you are asleep!!

10. You Cannot Plan Their Life.

You must have rules. Teenagers are programmed to fight these, but they secretly like the boundaries you set, seeing these both as a challenge, and an indication of your genuine concern for them. Never force them in their choices academically, just encourage them to achieve their best. If they want to be a road sweeper, make sure they are the best damn road sweeper ever!!

Most of all, just love them!!! They are mad, outrageous, opinionated, aggravating, irritating, and absolutely wonderful!! And only with you for a very short time!! And if you embrace them, they will make you remember how wonderful it was to be their age!! And give you back a little of their youth!!