I have just had one of many somewhat dubious conversations with my fifteen year old. The sort where I wonder whether I should really have found some excuse to go into the kitchen and thus nip it in the bud. Except I got the giggles, and allowed it to descend into ultra outrageousness!! I am still not quite sure which topic for discussion on BBC’s political programme, Question Time, triggered his train of thought, but I suspect it may have been his brother’s remark that one of the guest politicians was a w!#ker!
“Did you know that the taste of your sperm depends on what you have eaten?” he blithely announced.
(You have probably already realised that this is the point at which I should have left the room).
Noncommittal grunt from mother, snort from older brother. Undaunted by lack of enthusiasm, he warmed to his subject.
“How did scientists discover that fact? Does that mean someone tasted it?”
Brother showing interest now, mother trying to keep features arranged into facsimile of responsible adult.
“I mean, how did they advertise that job? And who applied for it? Did they leave school with that as their career ambition? Or perhaps they were targeted as unsuspecting unemployed wine-tasters? Do you have a discerning palette? Are you looking for new challenges? Can you think outside the box?”
Features going into meltdown now, brother already cackling.
“”Hhhhmmmmm…….I’m getting hints of garlic, with high notes of chilli and cumin, and…….let me see……a backnote of german lager! Am I correct?” “Ok Barry, lets do the reveal….. ” (brother does suspenseful drum roll) “….and you’re correct!!!!!””
Both boys now doing fake audience rapturous applause, responsible adult crying with laughter!!