This is Me

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Hah! This should be easy, but it’s not. I don’t talk about me an awful lot, prefer to skim over that story. But it’s todays challenge, so I shall try.

I am old. At least I would be, had not my beautiful daughter arrived four days after my 30th, thus wiping my birthday from any calendar for ever more. I have four children, three boys, and the aforementioned girl. They are all young adults, super bright, fiercely opinionated, completely focussed, (perhaps not the youngest, he is still more focussed on his computer games), and they now gang together to tease me mercilessly.They are the funniest people I have ever had the priveledge to meet.

I am an incurable romantic, who fell deeply in love at fourteen years old, and felt my heart break when we parted six years later. My subsequent life has been spent waiting for him to find me once more. I have been married once, an experience I never want to repeat. Despite outward appearances, (loud hair, loud jewellery, loud laugh) I have virtually no self-confidence, or self belief. I have found myself in a series of awful jobs over the years, initiated by my uncontrollable urge to drop out of school, just to infuriate my father.

I had the most virulent pink hair in the early eighties, I pierced my own ears, and I had my first tattoo in my forties. I hate poor spelling, people who spit in the street, and bullies. I live in a women’s refuge, and yet people assume that my life is all gin & tonic and cucumber sandwiches because I speak nicely. I have a scruffy, smelly, stupid rescue dog that I adore, and a beautiful street cat that adopted me, and has a fetish for destroying kitchen paper.

And it never, ever occurred to me to write a blog, or anything else for that matter, until last year.

I turned fifty. My brain exploded. And HE found me. Suddenly, my life was flipped over. When your brain does one, it is the scariest feeling in the world. I found myself suddenly totally out of control. And then he reappeared. And pulled me back. And talked, hugged, kissed, laughed, and made me shine again. We wrote endless emails, about anything and everything, from what had happened before, to what we longed for, and what made us laugh, head back, fullbellied laughs. And I devised a character, and wrote imaginary letters, silly, mad, bizarre stories. And he said “Write.” And now I am.

I have no definite direction at the moment, I just let the words flow as if I were talking to him. In a years time, I want to have that focus, rein and train my imagination. I love writing, I feel guilty if I miss a day. I want to produce something more tangible than just a few sentences here and there. And I am old enough to feel thrilled at the prospect of having the opportunity of being in contact with people all over the world. And share ideas, and stories, and laughter. And if I find myself in contact with a few others who say ‘Sod you, life, bring it on!!’, it will be worth it just for that!

About Thewitch

Nikki is a half centenarian, an eternal teenager, and mother of four geniuses. In her previous incarnation, she was a famous Parisian courtesan, and witch, thus explaining her habit of talking to the moon in french. Due to her inability to control her thought/speech processes, she writes about life, love, laughter and anything else that happens to spill out. Those of a strong constitution can read more on her About page.

8 responses »

  1. Pingback: This is Me | Bob and Emily

  2. I could tell from the comment you made on The Commons that I wanted to read more about you. Instantly likable and engaging. And your post about looking up has me noticing the beautiful details of the buildings in Chicago – thanks for that!

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    • Thank you!! I will strive to remain likeable and engaging!! It is great fun looking up, don’t you think? I have to admit to having Paloma Faith singing Upsidedown in my head as I do! Might try looking down next time, although peering into basements may get me arrested! Glad it gave you a different perspective. Oh wow!! Chicago!! Slightly larger than Gibraltar!!

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  3. I absolutely loved reading this post! You sounds like such an interesting person. I feel like a story could be written about the love story that you have outlined here and I am intrigued to know more! I’m glad that I found your blog 🙂
    Sass x

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